Just because. I need to start making this blog look spiffy. This pea soup green thing is starting to get to me.

"Spend all your time waiting for that second chance/for a break that would make it okay/there's always some reason to feel not good enough/and it's hard at the end of the day/I need some distraction oh beautiful release/memory seeps from my veins/let me be empty and weightless and maybe/I'll find some peace tonight..."
- Angel, Sarah McLachlan

I did the job hunt thing all day today. Perused job postings, tried to figure out how to write a cover letter, finetuned my resume. I've been doing that whole resume fine tuning thing for way too long now. You'd think that it would be a much quicker process seeing that I have NO work experience. Yet somehow I've managed to write almost two whole pages of nothingness. Now to whittle it down to one. Kill the extraneous stuff I guess, but first I have to figure out what that is. As it stands I've been feeling plenty not good enough for a while now, and today didn't exactly help any. Why can't I find any jobs that I qualify for? The age old question remains - How can it be that you need work experience in order to get work experience? Where's the logic in that?!? OK fine, I was able to find some entry level job postings but all 'cept one require US citizenship or permanent residency. Ummm...Jamaican...yeah... The lone exception required a Mechanical Engineer with qualifications I couldn't possibley fudge. Ummm...Electrical Engineer...yeah...So basically this sucks. Grad school would seem to be the best option, but I haven't really applied anywhere. Had no clue what I wanted to do which kinda hampered the whole personal-statement-writing and college-selection phase of the applications process. Now I have a kinda clue, but the application deadlines for the Fall have gone. Sigh.

But I'm not as stressed as I should be.

People keep on telling me that 22 years isn't that long to have been alive and so, provided I'm sufficiently average, I have some flex time in which to figure stuff out. Plus I slaved (okay, indentured servant-ed) over the past three and a half years so I'm only 98% broke. Then there's the whole 'debt-free' thing, so all in all things could be worse.

Plus worrying won't change anything 'cept my ulcer count.

*shrugs* Whatever happens happens and all the rest of that good stuff. Most importantly tho there's this: " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future' " - Jeremiah 29:11. It sure is comforting to know that someone's got a game plan for me, 'cuz right now I'm batting at zero in that department. But eh, is life, there's only so much that one can do to control it. And who said that controlling it was such a good idea anyway?