yo

Okay. So I've apparently managed to ignore this blog for five months and eight days. Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I kneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew this was going to happen. Why do I try to keep a journal when I knooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow I hate to write? Why? Why? WHY? It's why I never even considered being an english major. It's why I shudder - nay QUAKE - at the thought of writing any paper of any sort. I DON'T LIKE WRITING!!! I'd rather be poked in the eye with rusty nail. A rusty nail that also manages to have sharp edges. Sharp Edges people!!!!

And yet.

Almost to add insult to injury it would seem.

I've gone and shacked up with journalspace.com starting up yet another blog that I will doubtless ignore.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

*deep breath*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*koff koff*




*sigh*

Why do I do this people??? Why??? It's like I have this need to punish myself...

Okay. So here's the deal. The main reason that I'm not much of a writer is because I'm extremely detail oriented. Wait. This'll make sense in a minute I promise. Yeah, so I pay very close attention to detail. It's like....I can't help it man...it's like...it's like a sickness...a compulsion even (kinda like when i was living at home and each time i closed the fridge door i'd have to promptly reopen it to make sure that i hadn't inadvertently locked the cat inside it. Even if the cat was sitting beside me trying to figure out what in the world was going on. But I digress). So whenever I'm called to write an account of anything I feel the pressing need to include any and everything that I can possibly think of. And I don't know how to not do that, because in the past when i've tried to cut out the extraneous, I've managed to leave the important bits out. Because everything seems important to me...I can't differentiate so I end up cutting stuff at random. Which is not good. Now the problem with writing everything that comes to mind is that it takes forever and a venutian leap year. And I have the attention span of a gnat. A gnat I tell you. So I usually lose interest in what I'm writing before I actually finish writing it. Which is why so many of my posts never make it past the 'draft' stage. And why in the course of writing this one, I've managed to wander away to read four short stories and to watch a video clip of a skeleton dancing (note: link expired).

Issues.

But I've made a promise to myself to actually finish this post in one sitting, so I figure that I should use this opportunity to hail people up while the hailing up is good. On that note I've got to give a shout out to ma bredrin AIN. This yute is solid and I'm definitely going to miss in him when I go back home. I was talking to him today about the need for consistency. I have none (just note the gaps in my blog) and apparently he suffers from the same. So I'm going to pray for him, and he's supposed to be returning the favour. Prayer rocks my friend. Talking to God...why wouldn't one do it? Yes self. Why wouldn't one do it? Lack of consistency is slowly eating me alive especially in terms of my walk with God. But AIN is praying for me, and I for him. And this is a very very good thing. I love my God and I love my friends, and this is a very very good thing too. I just need to talk to them more. I'm not very good at building or maintaining relationships. Am working on this. Will keep you posted. Will update more frequently. Will establish routine for self. Will talk to my God on the regular. Will not lose interest in looking for job. Will not curl up in a ball, go to sleep, and hope for the best. Will put back and keep God at center. Will not self destruct by way of apathy. Will not. Good.

Oh yeah, and I'll try to keep my posts coherent from here on in. And they will be more regular. Because I need to regain control of my life, and this is one small way of doing it.

Even though I hate to write.