Letter to Santa, 2006

Dear Santa,

Hey, how are you? How are the reindeer? How's Rudolph's nose doing? Last I heard he was suffering from a rare form of red nose syndrome. My Auntie Loris makes an amazing garlic-chocolate-asparagus ointment with just a hint of scorpion juice that would clear that right up. Let me know if you're interested, maybe we can set up some form of a trade. Wink, wink. Have your people call my people. Anyway, on to the point of this letter.

I have been amazingly good this past year. I've managed to resist the urge to pummel my little sister into the ground. I think that's all I really need. You've seen me not put laxative in her cereal. You've got records. You know. In light of this I feel quite confident in putting my request before you. This Christms I only want one thing (kindly take note of my commendable lack of greed - feel free to apply any "good points" this may get me to next Christmas' gift). So here's my humble request. I want the batmobile. Fully loaded. Freshly waxed. All weaponry included. And if you could include an elf to cater to my every whim...and some gas coupons...that would be nice too. Not necessary, but nice.

Anyway Sants, that's my entire request, my Christmas list in nutshell. Please tell Mrs. Claus I said hi. Let the elves know I'm thinking of them. And tell Rudolph that if he's in need of the aforementioned ointment that I'm only a phone call and US$100 dollar bill away. As always, it's been a pleasure doing business with you. I look forward to *ahem* hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
Kayonne
("k-dizzle" to her friends)


P.S. Go easy with that whole "need for speed" vibe. Just take a page from my book - self restraint is your friend. Last thing I need is skid marks on my roof. Again. Sheesh.